MYBUTTER HAS TOUCHED ANOTHER READER

IMDB user Mybutterhastouchedanotherfood (from Canada) is a breath of fresh air. His (or her) critique of the new Jodie Foster movie, "The Brave One," is nothing short of spectacular. This summer's emotional rollercoaster of a tour de force. It's a little bit F.X. Feeney, only this scribe doesn't write like someone who got his lunch stolen from him daily at community college. Each word like a perfectly pitched note. Every phrase lyrical. The entire piece plays like an opus performed by a virtuoso with the wisdom of the oldest living child prodigy. The first time I read it, it blew my mind. The second time I read it, it blew my heart. I'm actually afraid to read it a third time.

Think I'm the only one who was blown away by this write-up? Think again. The stats right out of the gate were crazy phenomenal (18 out of 29 people found his/her comments useful). It was clear to me, as it was to those 18 others, that Mybutterhastouchedanotherfood would prove to someday be not only a presence felt by Hollywood's major players, but also a household name.

The title of the review is "Great Acting, Bad Message." Succinct, to the point, and it does not break my fifth commandment ("Thou shalt not try to be funny"). What I like most about this title is that it "pretty much" is the review.

"Great acting, bad message Jodie Foster was amazing in this. She pretty much made the film. I'm pretty sure she'll get an Oscar nomination for this. The film was also very well made."

Whatever typographical or grammatical errors made by the writer can certainly be corrected with the help of some sort of computer software or a smart relative. This is a minor problem that I mention only to warn this and other upstart critics. To some people, poor grammar is the indicator of an uneducated person who grew up in squalor, but for most people it is the telltale sign of a writer who doesn't care much about his or her subject.

"As it stands as a film, ignoring what seems to be its ultimate message, definitely worthy of 12.50$ tickets (or whatever they cost in your city). However, the movie seems to justify the "take the law into my own hands" attitude. It almost promoted murder... taking away people's right to trial and what not. I know no one wants to hear this and no one really cares, most just want to see a movie that entertains them… BUT, I saw this film at the Toronto International Film Festival, and before the film Neil Jordan said: "I don't want this movie to answer any questions, only to ask more". Unfortunately the movie in no way reciprocates this message. It pretty much just says murdering criminals is OK. I am almost disappointed in Neil Jordan for making a film like this, that similar to 24 will only make unacceptable behavior more acceptable in the eyes of the general public. I only wish that the film would provoke people to discuss it further when they walk out of the theater."

Seems pretty non-threatening, doesn't it? Nothing overtly subversive here. I mean, taking a pot-shot at "24?" Big whoop-whoop, right? Well, for some reason somebody somewhere did not want this out there. What we do know is that this review by Mybutterhastouchedotherfood, sometime over this past weekend was pulled from IMDB without warning. Whether Warner Bros., a rogue band of professional critics, or Kiefer was behind it is something we don't know. In fact, we may never know.

It is my belief that just as people are fleeing from Network TV and flocking towards VOD and Youtube, so too shall they turn their backs on this nation's leading critics in favor of the common man's opinion. Mybutter represents the common man (even if he's a woman). There are more like him in the world than there are like Gene Shalit. I am convinced that International Movie Database poses a real threat to the elite when they spread the word of the Mybutters across the world. In order to level their competition, however, they must refuse to turn a blind eye to the obvious studio-backed reviews and must instead back the genuine articles (and their genuine articles), now matter how controversial, from any form of persecution, including its removal.