Todd McCarthy over at ye olde Variety writes quite the half-assed movie review! My goodness! Oh.. wait.. that's just for "Juno." He's barely able to make it a well rounded review. While at the same time he writes the longest most exaggerated rave review of "Charlie Wilson's War."
I don't like that!
I don't like that at all.
He's part of the snotty elitist hype-fueling crowd that I despise.
Case in point-
He ends his "Juno" review with:
"Production values are modest but up to the job."
He ends his "Charlie Wilson's War" review with:
"Craft contributions, notably Stephen Goldblatt's lustrous lensing, Victor Kempster's versatile production design and Albert Wolsky's evocative period costuming, are first-rate."
There's more, but my patience is thin.
The end.
Dear Mr. McCarthy,
I refuse to believe that "Charlie Wilson's War" is that great. And I will refuse to see it. I will instead see "Juno" and be pleasantly reminded why the studios are pouring so much money into their independent sectors, and agents are urging their clients to do the indie movies, and the real people of the world's heartstrings are pulled more so by the "modest production values" than the "lustrous lensing."
If Hollywood only made movies like "Charlie Wilson's War" (where before it even hit the public consciousness it's been nominated for a bazillion Academy Awards) and only hired the same people over and over (when will we let Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts fade into supporting roles?) and praised "evocative period costuming" (from the rich White House EIGHTIES) I'd have to off myself.
Sir, I urge you to spend more time taking note of the beautiful, simple and touching details of "Juno" like the first-rate fact that both Juno and Bleeker have matching hamburger phones. THAT is evocative craft contributions if ever there was such a silly statement...
You should write your reviews in invisible ink so nobody has to read them! Yay!
Love,
Mrs. Pibb
